Comedian Paul Scheer Shares His Clippers Playoff Takes
Plus: A Western Conference Playoffs gossip preview!
If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!
Clear your calendar because the NBA Playoffs are here. Do I understand why they are two very long months? Not really. Will I consume all of the nonsense that ensues? Probably.
After being offline for two (!) weddings last week, I’m back with part one of my NBA Playoffs content.
Up first, we’ll be digging into the Western Conference Playoffs.
Last night, The Los Angeles Lakers secured a spot in the playoffs after their win against the New Orleans Pelicans in the Play-In Tournament.
Now, the Pelicans will face the Sacramento Kings in *another* Play-In Tournament game that will determine whether they advance to round 1 against the Oklahoma City Thunder. Drama!
Before we dissect some of my favorite Western Conference team gossip, I had the pleasure of chatting with comedian, actor, writer, and podcaster Paul Scheer about all things Los Angeles Clippers.
Scheer has starred in shows like FX/FXX's The League and Showtime's Black Monday. He also cohosts one of my favorite podcasts, How Did This Get Made?, and most recently became a published author (!) with his upcoming memoir, Joyful Recollections of Trauma.
More than his stacked resume, Scheer is a ride-or-die Clippers fan.
Scheer and I chatted about the new team branding, what he would put on a Nike City Edition Clippers jersey, and—of course—his thoughts on a potential Clippers post-season run.
Enjoy our conversation and my Western Conference gossip nonsense below.
Oh, and if you haven’t already, consider becoming a paid subscriber for even more sports gossip every week.
An Interview With Paul Scheer
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. Be sure to follow Scheer on X, Instagram, and pre-order his new book here!
First off: Do you like the new team branding?
I love it. The logo is great. The colors are perfect. I love the nautical theme.
I just don’t understand how they spend that much time designing it and wishing Clippers fans immediately improve on the ship design. Our ship looks like a warship or a cruise ship—not a clipper ship. The sails one looks so much better, IMO.
During the branding process, Steve Ballmer reportedly surveyed fans on changing the “Clippers” name, which fans hated. I have seen fans here and there online say they like the idea of changing the location part of the team name to “California Clippers.” That’s not going to happen, obviously, but what are your thoughts on it?
I had one of those calls. I always thought Inglewood Clippers, but I get that is lame, too.
I think LA LAKERS should change to the Hollywood Lakers and let’s Clippers take LA.
Are you excited about the new arena? Will we see you in The Wall?
I love a new, fun idea. Let’s own this stadium. Make home court count. The Wall is such a cool idea.
I think we will see all the new stadiums copy it. My seats are not in The Wall, however. I don’t like behind the basket.
If you could design a Clippers Nike City Edition jersey, what would you put on it?
I’ve been dying for a red jersey. I even told Ballmer in my one moment when we’re directing him for Serge’s show, and he smiled coyly.
I think he knew it was coming back, but he was a TIGHT LIPPED.
How about an In-N-Out themed uni?
What's your favorite piece of NBA gossip this season? It can be Clippers or non-Clippers-related nonsense.
1. Lebron [James] is going to finish his career in Cleveland
2. Giannis [Antetokounmpo] faked his injury to stop playing for Doc [Rivers].
Given the recent drop-off in performance after the amazing mid-season run, how confident are you going into the playoffs?
I am thrilled that the Clippers have won the Pacific Division.
I think after the run they had, they were due for a slump, and I’d argue the slump was really just not having [Russell] Westbrook on the floor.
Are you in a place of it’s championship or failure? Or would you be content with a really competitive finals/WCF loss?
As a fan, you always have to expect us to win the chip, and if we go down, then we go down fighting.
We have had some series and injuries that really upset me. Some losses like the Valley-Oop that really were disheartening, but the truth is I’m a Clipper fan.
I’m always going to come back. I’m not fickle. I only know not getting the chip. I know devastating injuries and play-in losses. I’ve seen it all. What else you got?!
But not seriously, I can’t take it anymore…AAAH!
If there is a disappointing 1st or 2nd round playoff exit, do you think Paul George and James Harden will be Clippers next season?
2 (Kawhi Leonard), 13 (Paul George) and now 0 (Russell Westbrook) and 1 (James Harden) want to be in LA - The new contracts make it tricky for us to keep them all.
We lost [Nicolas] Batum this year, which was heartbreaking. We lost [Isaiah] Hartenstein for [John] Wall (and I’m still mad about that). We are used to seeing these beloved players walk out the door.
I simply don’t see who else realistically we could get that would bring the caliber of play that both of these guys bring to the team.
We are living in this world of Max contracts and as much as players want, they can’t call their shots, as we saw with Dame [Lillard]. Harden is the exception to that rule.
If Paul George leaves in the off-season, and they don’t resign James Harden, let’s pretend EVERY star in the NBA was available this summer, who is your ideal guy to see play alongside Kawhi Leonard?
I’ve always loved the idea of Jimmy Butler and Kawhi [Leonard] together. I’d also love to see what Shai [Gilgeous-Alexander] and Kawhi [Leonard] could have been.
Western Conference Playoff Gossip
Oklahoma City Thunder vs. New Orleans Pelicans or Sacramento Kings
Thunder: As you may be aware, Thunder guard Josh Giddey was accused of having an inappropriate relationship with an underage girl.
After police got involved, they announced that Giddey wouldn’t face any charges due to a lack of corroborating evidence. So yeah…I’ll leave this one here.
Kings: Point guard De'Aaron Fox goes by the nickname “Swipa da Fox,” inspired by Swiper the Fox from Dora the Explorer. In 2022, he came under fire after he shut down his NFT project (lmao) “SwipaTheFox,” with more than $1.5 million in unpaid investment to $100,000 investors. Fox still hasn’t paid these people back. Ooop!
Pelicans: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: one of my favorite scandals this season involved Zion Williamson and a woman who alleged that she had a relationship with Williamson…while he was with his pregnant girlfriend.
Los Angeles Clippers vs. Dallas Mavericks
Los Angeles Clippers: They have arguably the most pressure out of any team to perform in the playoffs (Celtics and Suns are up there, too). They spent $$$ to get top players and built a fancy new arena they move into next season.
I’m sorry, but there is maybe nothing more embarrassing than going out in the first round, given all of the expectation they’ve created for themselves. It’s like the launch of Apple TV+. You spend all of this money to make a fancy platform, but the platform is filled with mediocre shows with big stars.
Mavericks: I told
this, but I think the real shock is that Mavericks star Kyrie Irving hasn’t said some nonsense this season. It’s shocking! This is coming from the man who said the earth is flat! Listen: I won’t hold my breath, but I like the silence.Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Phoenix Suns
Timberwolves: In some rich people drama, Timberwolves Governor (yes, that is a real position) Glen Taylor announced that the deal to sell the team to Marc Lore and Alex Rodriguez (of J.Lo fame) was off. Why, you ask?
According to Woj, Taylor allegedly didn’t like Lore and Rodriguez’s cost-cutting tactics. I guess Taylor isn’t the type of guy to save Bed Bath & Beyond coupons…
Suns: Are Devin Booker and Kendall Jenner back together? According to Page Six, they may have rekindled their romance after Jenner split from Bad Bunny a few months back. Listen: I’ll believe they are back together if she’s spotted courtside at an upcoming game…
Denver Nuggets vs. Los Angeles Lakers
Nuggets: This is Nuggets-adjacent, but one of their stars, Michael Porter Jr., is tangled up in a scandal via his brother, Jontay. As you may have heard, Jontay is involved in a betting scandal where reports alleged that he bet millions over a two-year period.
There is no evidence that he bet on NBA games, but he *is* still under investigation for two betting irregularities from earlier this year related to games he played in with the Raptors….You can read more about THAT here.
Lakers: Will the Lakers make it far in the playoffs? Unlikely. However, I’m sure their star, LeBron James, will want to win it all. No—not just to get his 5th ring, but also to win as much goodwill with Lakers fans as possible.
Hear me out: My baseless theory is that James is calculating that if he brings another championship to LA, Laker fans, in the highs of their happiness, will shrug as the Lakers draft his son Bronny a couple of weeks later. The chip would basically be a spoonful of peanut butter I give my dog to make his ear infection medicine go down smoother.
If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!
You can follow me on Instagram here, Twitter here and TikTok here. Enjoy the endless void of content!
I agree that the name “governor” is EXTREMELY dumb, but it is there for a good reason - the NBA realized that calling a, on average, white male that rules over a group of mostly black athletes “the owner” is a poor choice. Governor is a pretty dumb word to replace it with imo, but it was necessary.