What The Celtics And Kendall Jenner's Modeling Career Have In Common
Welcome to the NBA Finals.
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The NBA Finals are finally here.
While the National Basketball Association loves to drag out the playoffs over the span of months in the same way that The Bachelor strings the ending over one too many episodes, besides the Super Bowl halftime show or a fall Georgia football game there really isn’t another sporting moment I love more than the NBA Finals.
Will the Atlanta Hawks ever win the title? Hrmmmm…The jury is still out on that, but I know my fellow 30030 friends are holding out hope.
Anyways!
The NBA Finals kick off tonight between the Eastern Conference Champions, the Boston Celtics, and the Western Conference Champions, the Dallas Mavericks.
One team fought HARD to be here (unlike some of those contestants on season 45 of Survivor who quit) and the other team sort of just showed up.
There’s so much we could talk about today, but I thought it may be good to launch my NBA Finals coverage with a little overview of both teams, why the Celtics are basically Kendall Jenner’s modeling career, and other nonsense analogies that I know you love as much as I do—or else you wouldn’t have read this far!
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Let’s! Dig! In!
The Celtics Are Kendall Jenner’s Modeling Career
I can’t explain it, but the Celtics give off Dakota “I’m not a nepo baby” Johnson vibes. They really just fell ass backward into the Finals.
Yes, they have been the favorite to win the championship since the start of the regular season, but they’ve had a few advantages that got them here.
First off, their roster is Very! Good!
I won’t bore you with details about why their stars are good, but just know that if you say any of the names Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Kristaps Porziņģis, Derrick White, and Jrue Holiday, someone will have something to say about them!
Second—and I would argue most importantly—they are experiencing the same level of success as Kendall Jenner did when she told Kris she wanted to become a model.
Jenner and her poses have the same level of enthusiasm as a substitute teacher who could care less about putting on a movie for the class because they have their sudoku, which has landed her on the cover of Vogue more than once.
The Celtics were essentially handed a trip to the Finals. They didn’t really have to do anything to make it.
They beat Jimmy “I’m a country singer now” Butler and the Miami Heat pretty easily in round 1.
They then played the Cleveland Cavaliers and—once again—didn’t have to put in that much effort to advance.
Finally, they swept the Indiana Pacers!
Did they even play that great? Not really!
They just showed up and somehow got promoted each round, which is just like Kendall Jenner booking jobs when Paloma Elsesser/Karlie Kloss/any other model is right there.
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