If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.
For partnership inquiries or to just say hello, email madeline@impersonalfoul.com
Welcome back to the Sports Gossip Cinematic Universe for more nonsense.
Before digging into this mini (and messy) NFL Draft preview, I want to say thank you to everyone who sold me out of my ‘Sports Gossip Enthusiast’ hats and pre-ordered the next run!
If you still want one, you can pre-order it here.
The first batch is going out today and pre-orders will likely ship in a week and a half or so.
Now onto the nonsense!
In honor of the NFL draft, I’ve rounded up three of my favorite chaotic storylines from this year’s class. There’s arm length drama, nepo babies, and, yes, Aaron Rodgers.
You’re welcome in advance.
The Case of the Missing Inch
Some sports stuff sounds so ridiculous you can’t make it up. This one might take the cake! Well…it takes the cake…if its arms are long enough to reach the cake. Stay with me.
There are an infinite number of injuries that football players constantly worry about but Will Campbell, an offensive lineman out of LSU, suffers from T-Rex-itis. AKA he has short arms.
Campebll’s arms are 32 5/8ths inches. The ideal arm length for his position is 34 inches. You read that correctly: His arms are about an inch too short.
34 is considered the magic number to effectively push away defensive linemen trying to get past you and attack your quarterback.
That single inch has been the subject of numerous articles, TV segments, and podcast segments recently.
Some say the inch is really important. Some say it’s not that important. Some say he can make up for that inch with his athleticism, quickness, and instincts.
Everyone! Has! An! Opinion!
Campbell is projected to go number four to the Patriots, but his missing inch could cause him to fall in the draft.
In honor of Michael Scott, I want to say one big resounding “That’s what she said” to this whole ordeal.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Impersonal Foul to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.