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Very few material items elicit a visceral response in me.
There are my beloved High Sport pants (expensive but worth it). My $12 Vanicream face wash that doesn’t break me out. And then there are the turtlenecks that New York Yankees players wear during games when the heat finally breaks for good.
In this current ✨climate✨, fall feels less like fall and more like a suggestion of “fall” to make us all feel better about the state of the world at large.
You can now purchase a Pumpkin Spice Latte in August. I still can wear a t-shirt to pilates with no sweatshirt in September. And I put off purchasing another Babaa no. 17 sweater for a few more weeks, because I will just overheat anyways.
With the official start of fall at the end of September comes a pivotal moment in the sports calendar: The MLB playoffs.
I must admit: I don’t really pay close attention to regular-season baseball outside of keeping tabs on my beloved Los Angeles Dodgers and whether there are any updates in the Shohei Ohtani betting scandal.
However, I do start paying closer attention to baseball when the playoffs start, like many other fair-weather baseball fans. More importantly, I pay even closer attention when the Yankees are in the playoffs and wear turtlenecks (that are really more like mock necks).
There’s something about those mock necks that feels like curling up with a good book in front of a crackling fire with a cup of hot chocolate.
The Yankees playoff mock necks are the Christian Girl Autumn of sports apparel. I know that when I see those on television, we’re in a new season of life.
The mock necks are comforting in the way watching Gilmore Girls as the leaves change outside your living room window makes you want to wrap a giant, ultra-soft microplastic blanket a little bit tighter around you.
Maybe that piece of clothing evokes a twinge of nostalgia for the late-90s, early-2000s Yankees, like when Derek Jeter hit a walk-off home run in Game 4 of the 2001 World Series while wearing a mock neck.
And when I see current Yankees players like Aaron Judge wearing them as the temperatures drop, I can’t help but root for them.
The more I think about it, though, the more I wonder if maybe I am just rooting for the mock neck itself? Or perhaps I am just yearning for a time before social media, the same way that people are praising Phoebe Bridgers for a phone-free concert experience?
I’m not quite sure where the feeling of comfort comes from when I see this item of clothing on a professional baseball player, but I do know this: With the Yankees being eliminated by the Tampa Bay Rays in the ALDS last night, I know my playoff-watching experience won’t be the same.
Off The Field (And In Your Inbox)
The wildest scandals in sports almost always go all the way to the top: And that’s exactly what’s happening with the Manchester City drama heard round the sports world. The team was found guilty by an independent commission of 114 out of 115 Premier League financial rules. The club has been accused of “sham” contracts as part of a “disguised funding scheme” that contributed to them “inflating revenues and reducing costs” by over £900 million. The story plays out like a Stefon bit on Saturday Night Live, because this story really does have everything: Corruption, an alleged prime minister’s involvement, threats, and so much more. (via The Athletic)
The Marlins Man has no idea who Dua Lipa is: Do I really believe that the MLB fixture had no idea who the pop star was? I’m not so sure about that, but they did sit next to each other at the Yankees-Rays game last night behind home plate. (via X)
Did you watch the end of the Atlanta Dream vs. New York Liberty playoff game? It was juicy! The Dream pulled out the win in overtime and are now up 2-0 in the WNBA semifinal series. Come on, Liberty! (via Yahoo Sports)
Cristiano Ronaldo is beefing with Portugal’s head coach: The soccer star has apparently had enough of the country’s head coach, Jorge Jesus, and released a statement longer than any essay I wrote in my AP classes. Ronaldo reportedly issued an ultimatum and said he won’t return to the national team while Jesus is the head coach. Everything about this man can be summed up by his reaction to one of his kids saying that their mom, Georgina Rodríguez, is more famous than he is. (via Bleacher Report)
In even more soccer news: Sunderland captain Granit Xhaka has been fined over £100,000 for allegedly forging a COVID vaccination certificate while he played for Arsenal. (via OneFootball)
Haven’t we learned anything about helicopters? Philadelphia 76ers star LeBron James has been flying back and forth between Philly and New York on a helicopter. James reportedly has access to the helicopter as part of his deal with Fanatics, which he signed back in 2024. Please! Just! Drive! (via Front Office Sports)
If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. Please consider becoming a paying subscriber for just $5/month.
For partnership inquiries or to just say hello, email madeline@impersonalfoul.com
This is, unfortunately for my Red Sox-loving self, phenomenal content
As a Red Sox fan they also generate a visceral response, but it is less cozy 😂