There's SEC Football And Then There's RushTok
There's SEC Football And Then There's RushTok
Roll...Zeta!
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SEC schools only care about two sports: Football and Greek life.
If you’re on TikTok, your ‘For You Page’ was likely filled with “OOTD” videos from girls in Tuscaloosa, Alabama getting ready for sorority recruitment last week. They showed off their Kendra Scott necklaces and modeled their fab'rik dresses.
Enter #BamaRush.
You met @WhatWouldJimmyBuffettDo and learned about how she got dropped from every sorority.
How could we forget “Channel” gate? And the subsequent discovery that the video was fake?
Oh, and you probably dropped everything in your normal life to follow this pointless information like it’s Draft Day.
By Philanthropy Day, I was ready to pull out my xtra large Comfort Colors t-shirts and Nike shorts as my OOTD. If that sentence doesn’t make sense to you, you probably weren’t in a sorority.
As someone who went to The University of Georgia and is a Democrat, I thought it would be “interesting” to join a sorority. I know.
Before going through rush, you’re required to get letters of recommendation from alumna from each sorority.
I grew up in a small (and very liberal) town. The only people I knew who were in a sorority was my aunt and step-mom. I didn’t own any Kendra Scott and had no clue what the Pants Store was. I definitely didn’t part my hair on the side.
By some miracle, myself, my mom, and her Mom Friends™ cobbled together letters of recommendation, outlining how I am “such a great person to be around” for like half of the sororities.
On top of these totally authentic very real letters of recommendation, we had to submit a headshot (lmao) and a “resume”. I’m sorry, but what 18-year-old has a resume? At this point in my life I had just set up a “professional” Gmail account.
Verbatim gems from my resume included:
Graduated with a 4.1 GPA and within the top 10 percent of graduating class.
Tennis Center Desk Attendant
Key Club President
Awarded “Most Consistent” volleyball player award for senior season.
All of this to say: They make it very difficult to go through rush in the South. The reality is that they don’t want you to. They already know who they want in the next pledge class before the Class of 20whatever steps on campus.
They “dirty rush” high schoolers by bringing them up to campus, taking them out with fake IDs, and saying how much they love their outfit.
Like SEC football, SEC Panhellenic life is like being in a cult. One where you are told how to dress, how to talk, which classes to take, and who to date. They are discriminatory, elitist, and have a racist past—but deny all of “that” by posting a black square on their Instagram.
I didn’t last long in the sorority as you might imagine. After being told on multiple occasions that I was “So different” because I parted my hair down the middle and watched them go slide-by-slide through a presentation on what’s “too slutty” to wear out, I threw in the towel.
Like SEC football, being in a sorority in the South is like a religion. These girls in Tuscaloosa are no different from a die-hard Roll Tide football fan. They wake up at 6am. One starts curling her hair, the other puts on a Crimson and White polo. One heads out before the sun comes up to snag a prime spot to tail gate. The other heads to the house to finish getting ready with her sisters.
The reality is that SEC football and Panhellenic cannot survive without the other. Because, after all, when you’re religious, you’ve always got to make sure that you go to church.
Zillow Listing Of The Week
I’m sorry, but how am I just learning about a house that may or may not have been built for Lionel Messi that looks like a soccer ball? It’s unclear if this actually ever came to fruition, but like…SIR!
Other Pointless Gossip
Former NBA player J.R. Smith (Yes that meme) is…playing golf…on a college team? Good for him!
Sir no one said you weren’t the G.O.A.T….
Not gossip just feels.
Other Sports Stuff
I NEED TO KNOW WHO MAKES THESE JERSEY PHOTOSHOPS.
Oof.
Millennials to Gen Z:
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.