The World Cup Is Over I Guess
The World Cup Is Over I Guess
Impersonal Foul x Hung Up Pt. 2
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Welp, it looks the World Cup trophy is not coming home to England, which is a shame because I will miss Bukayo Saka’s spelling bee videos on TikTok.
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I feel the same way about this World Cup that I’ve felt about dates I’ve gone on with some men in the past: Forgettable face, but boy do they have a juicy Instagram presence where they somehow didn’t get the memo that they can untag themselves in photos with their exes. The archive feature is there for a reason!
I’ve already spoken extensively about the bad stuff and hot coaches and I think my conclusion about this World Cup is that the upsets have been the only redeeming quality to come out of the entire tournament.
As a farewell to the 2022 World Cup, I chatted with my friend,
, who writes my favorite newsletter, Hung Up. We chatted about which pop stars correspond to which teams (Carly Rae Jepsen fans: I’m sorry in advance!), our predictions for the final between Argentina and France tomorrow, and what even is a third-place match???I’ve included a few excerpts below, but you can read our full conversation here.
I’ll now be focusing my attention on manifesting another national championship win for Georgia. Enjoy this Messi series finale!
Impersonal Foul x Hung Up: A World Cup Brain Dump pt. 2
You can follow Hunter on Twitter here and on Instagram here. Also subscribe to her newsletter, Hung Up. Your inbox will thank you!!!
Hunter Harris: Madeline, I was at a party last weekend and a friend asked which pop star would correspond to which World Cup team. The Americans were obviously Katy Perry: all the Obama-era optimism, natural talent, but an inherent inability to, like, execute. The Brits feel like Adele: soooo much hype and a good album! But the Harry Kane penalty kick is the Adele cancelling Vegas shows last minute. The French feel like Robyn, or maybe Beyoncé: mature and capable, but more importantly they are doing it. They hit every mark. They are in complete control. Uruguay are Nicki Minaj. I’ll let Brazil be Rihanna. Argentina … I don’t know … I want to say Taylor, but during the 1989 era that I personally was not into: hugely successful but not for me.
Madeline Hill: I honestly feel like Argentina is maybe evermore era…But I also think Argentina is Maroon 5. Outside of Adam Levine, can you name another member of Maroon 5? Like they’re good and cheesy, but I could not tell you the name of any of those other white guys. Croatia is Carly Rae Jepsen. Pumping out solid singles, but can you remember any lyrics to a Carly Rae Jepsen song outside of “Call Me Maybe?” I can’t, but I still dance along anyways and think to myself, “I should listen to her more” and immediately forget that thought the second the song ends.
I’m sorry to say this, but Belgium is Britney Spears. A little past their prime, but you still watch for the nostalgia with the reality that they just aren’t the same as they used to be. Morocco is Hayley Kiyoko. All of the star qualities and the work ethic, but they haven’t quite gotten the recognition they deserve. Portugal is just any pop star who has worked with Jack Antonoff. And Jack Antonoff is Ronaldo. They’ve had success and relied on him for countless hits, but everyone just needs to move on. Let’s be real, they’re better without him.
HH: Not too much on my sister CRJ! I will listen to “Bends” right now in her honor; she is making excellent pop!
Ronaldo as Jack Antonoff … I can see it, but I think there’s an underlying angst to Ronaldo that is interesting. You don’t give a tell-all interview to the UK’s equivalent of Crackle if you are, I don’t know, still on the speed dial of half of the most famous women making pop today. It’s giving … jaded Calvin Harris? Let me think about it more.
Other Pointless Sports Gossip
These guys in a wedding party pretended they were walking into the tunnel before an NBA game.
Roger “Do you know who I am?!” Federer, ladies and gentleman.
Can I interview this dog?
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