If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.
Philadelphia 76ers “star” Ben Simmons would like to be written off the show.
While the majority of news during the NBA’s off-season this year has focused on which stars the Lakers have signed and which players aren’t vaccinated, the juiciest news from media week has centered around Simmons and the 76ers.
If you remember during the playoffs last year, Simmons didn’t play…great. In their run against the Atlanta Hawks (F.I.L.A.), Simmons didn’t shoot from the floor, had an awful free-throw percentage, and even passed the ball to a teammate in Game 7 instead of taking an easy-lay up.
Joel Embiid, Simmons’ teammate, made a very obvious dig towards Simmons after losing Game 7, which is the equivalent of Lisa Rinna reacting to that dinner scene on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
On top of that, 76ers head coach, Doc Rivers, also made a dig towards Simmons after that playoff run.
So yeah, Simmons wants to leave Philly ASAP, which is why it makes sense that he’s started to behave like the main character in his own Housewives spinoff.
Earlier this month, it was reported that Simmons wouldn’t appear at training camp. Oh, and he’s allegedly ghosting his team.
Not! A! Good! Look!
![Twitter avatar for @wojespn](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/wojespn.jpg)
And in true Housewives “We’re in a fight, but also still sort of friends and also do you want to come to Cabo with us?” energy, Embiid wants Simmons to come back!
![Twitter avatar for @mike_greger](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/mike_greger.jpg)
While Embiid might be trying to extend an olive branch just like when Jen Shah cold FaceTimed Heather on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Simmons doesn’t seem to want to repair the friendship.
![Twitter avatar for @TheAthletic](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/TheAthletic.jpg)
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According to ESPN, Simmons is willing to “sit as long as it takes” even if it’s all season! A dramatic king!
In fact, 76ers players allegedly even wanted to take a private jet to Los Angeles to meet with Simmons and He! Did! Not! Want! To! Meet!
You know that would be a two-part episode on Real Housewives.
![Twitter avatar for @TheNBACentral](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/TheNBACentral.jpg)
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On Thursday, Embiid basically implied that Simmons is the reason that the 76ers “got rid of” Miami Heat star, Jimmy Butler, and added that the team has always been built around Simmons’ needs. Okay!!!
![Twitter avatar for @KyleNeubeck](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/KyleNeubeck.jpg)
As of publication of this nonsense, the 76ers don’t seem close to trading Simmons. For now, he’ll be sitting in Southern California deciding whether he wants to be a Beverly Hills or Orange County housewife.
And I’ll be listening to ‘Streets of Philadelphia’ on repeat.
Zillow Listing Of The Week
Peyton Manning lives in the most Peyton Manning house that I’ve ever seen. Purchased for just under $5 million in 2012, Manning’s Denver home reminds me of that one time I went to private school for one year and went to a lot of birthday parties in houses with finished basements.
Enjoy!
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Other Pointless Gossip
I! Can’t! Handle! It!
![Twitter avatar for @ComplexSports](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ComplexSports.jpg)
Everything about this Letterman bit is perfect.
Speaking of Peyton Manning, the number of screens here is giving me anxiety.
![Twitter avatar for @ESPNPR](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ESPNPR.jpg)
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Other Sports Stuff
At least it’s not The W*****!!!!
![Twitter avatar for @JoePompliano](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/JoePompliano.jpg)
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This story is such an important read.
![Twitter avatar for @TheCut](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/TheCut.jpg)
![Image](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_600,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fpbs.substack.com%2Fmedia%2FFASnkSyXIAEsAsX.jpg)
Get! It!
![Twitter avatar for @SportsCenter](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/SportsCenter.jpg)
![Image](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_600,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fpbs.substack.com%2Fmedia%2FFAa9SBeWQAQlrzb.jpg)
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.