The Fenty Beauty Bowl
Impersonal Foul x Hung Up
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.
It’s Super Bowl Sunday and all I can think about is the fact that Tom Brady posted a thirst trap on his Instagram Story that looked like he’s never taken a thirst trap before.
Where is the drama? The tease? A deep-v shot? Don’t give us the whole package on slide one!
Did he not watch Magic Mike’s Last Dance yet? Request that screener!
I feel like we’re two posts away from Brady soft-launching a model on his Instagram Story. He’ll share her elbow or the back of her walking down the street in Positano this summer.
Gisele seems unbothered by all of this and started staging BACKGRID paparazzi ops with that hot jujutsu instructor and never looked back.
I’ve got to be honest, I haven’t paid much attention to the NFL this season. Maybe it’s the fact that a player almost died during a game on national television? The fact that they “punish” domestic abuse and sexual assault allegations like a rich kid who cheated on a final exam in high school and had his mommy (Roger Goodell) call the school to get him out of detention? Or the Washington Commanders investigation that reads like a Ben Affleck-directed based-on-a-true-story that has an 82 on Rotten Tomatoes starring Matt Damon in a bad wig?
But! It’s! The! Big! Game!
The Philadelphia Eagles are facing off against the Kansas City Chiefs. Both teams have played in the Super Bowl (and won) in recent years. I’ve written about Chiefs quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, before because his brother maybe shouldn’t be allowed to come to his work…
We haven’t discussed Eagles quarterback, Jalen Hurts, before but we like his vibe! He has an all-female management team and once sang on a Christmas album, A Philly Special Christmas. That’s all you need to know!
But we aren’t here to talk about These Men. We’re here to talk about Rihanna’s halftime show.
I’m in agreement with tennis star, Coco Gauff, who thinks that she’ll open with a medley of sorts. Will we get a TikTok audio clip of someone reviewing that viral Fenty Beauty plumping lipgloss over ‘Don’t Stop The Music’? We better!
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If Tame Impala shows up I swear the L Train in me will lose my damn mind.
To discuss all things Super Bowl LVII, Rihanna, and what in the world is going on with the NBA, I chatted with my friend and my only source for pop culture news,
, who writes my favorite newsletter, .Pray for me as I attempt to stay awake until 11:30pm UK time and check Chrissy Teigen’s Instagram Story to see what her Super Bowl spread looks like.
Enjoy a preview of our conversation below and be sure to subscribe for more pointless sports gossip next week!
Impersonal Foul x Hung Up: Super Bowl Edition
You can follow Hunter on Twitter here and on Instagram here. Also subscribe to her newsletter, Hung Up. Your inbox will thank you!!!
Hunter: We will get to the Super Bowl momentarily, I need to know what is going on in the NBA right now. LeBron breaking the scoring record, Kevin Durant getting traded, Kyrie willingly (derogatory, no offense) moving to Dallas, even Pat Bev (my favorite drama queen) is getting traded?? This is like that week senior year where everyone gets their college acceptances/rejections, or where HBO cancels every show. I need to know more.
Madeline: This week has felt like one giant Friday News Dump of NBA trade news. If you follow the NBA at all there are these two guys (Woj and Shams don’t ask me who they really are it doesn’t matter for the sake of this) who always break the trade news. And let me tell you..They! Were! Breaking! Their! Backs! While! Breaking! News!
Essentially, Kyrie Irving wrote his “Why I’m Leaving New York” piece and everyone thought he’d go to the Lakers and be reunited with his old Cleveland Cavaliers teammate, LeBron James. In the most petty twist that Shonda Rhimes couldn’t even write, Kyrie was traded to the Dallas Mavericks. Why you ask? Because the Nets owner is a messy bitch who loves the drama and only entertained offers from basically any other team but the Lakers, because that’s where Kyrie wanted to go. This resulted in LeBron saying, “It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me” with the most emo tweet of all time.
As for Kevin Durant, our Local Twitter @ Reply Man, he’s headed to the Phoenix Suns to (hopefully) help Chris Paul finally get a championship who cannot win a championship no matter how hard he tries. Patrick Beverly is headed to the Orlando Magic to probably stir the pot and end up on TMZ Sports.
Oh, and we cannot forget the fact that Larsa Pippen’s ex-boyfriend (or lover or something), Malik Beasley was also traded to the Lakers and will be teammates with…Scotty Pippen Jr. If you’re like, “Who is this man?” he’s the son of The Last Dance icon, Scottie Pippen, who happens to be the ex husband of…Larsa Pippen! Who happens to be Scotty Pippen Jr’s mom! And who is Larsa Pippen now dating? Michael Jordan’s son. I’m working on a deepdive of this love triangle, but yeah…this week has been a chaotic mess for the NBA.
Hunter: Scottie “I not gon’ fuck my summer up” Pippen … an honorary leo … a Hung Up icon … I cannot believe that murder board of relationships.
Now regarding the annual event known as the Super Bowl: My boyfriend is from Kansas, so I prefer the Chiefs here (except for the name/mascot). What should I look forward to in the non-Rihanna parts of this game? Other than Jackson Mahomes — younger brother of Patrick Mahomes, but also producer of the most iconic apartment tour in quite some time — getting a front row seat to the Rihanna show. A trailblazing nepo brother, I respect him 🫡
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