Taylor Swift Attending The Chiefs Game Is My Roman Empire
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Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce *would* be born in 1989…In October…The month that a certain re-record comes out…
He *would* be selected in the third round of the 2013 NFL Draft by the Chiefs…
According to Wikipedia (and I quote), “…during the 2022 season, Kelce became the fastest tight end to reach 10,000 career receiving yards.”
He also…wears cardigans…
What does it mean to be selected in the third round? Doesn’t matter. What is a receiving yard? We’re not here to talk about that.
As I’m sure you’re aware by now, Taylor Swift is currently attending the Chiefs home game against the Chicago Bears because she appears to be dating DATING Kelce.
How do I know this you ask? Because I am the expert on Pointless Sports Gossip!
Let’s dig in.
For one, Swift is wearing a Chiefs jacket that I am sure is already sold out by now. I’m sorry, but you don’t wear the varsity jacket of a guy you’re just casually seeing.
I said this on Twitter already, but this really is like when a girl at your high school makes it *official* with the quarterback by wearing his letterman jacket to the home game on Friday at 8pm.
Second, she’s sitting next to Mama Kelce!
You cannot tell me that Mama Kelce and Mama Swift will not be seated next to each other at Thanksgiving dinner in a matter of months, chatting about their favorite aisle to walk down at Michaels and swapping family recipes for seven-layer salad/that marshmallow one. You know the one.
Third, just days ago Swift went to dinner with Sophie Turner at Via Carota where she showed her girlfriends a text she received…Was it from Kelce inviting her to the game?
If I were a betting woman, I’d take the over on this being from him. Or whatever that sports betting expression that DraftKings won’t stop shoving in my face means.
Listen: I love this pairing—especially considering we were forced to see this guy’s face all summer:
And I know we would much rather be forced to look at this face all fall:
I can’t wait for the 1989 (Taylor’s Version…and Kelce’s Birthday Version) era…
Sound off in the comments!
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WAS WAITING for a newsletter to come out so I could sound off in the comments!!! I am watching the game and shrieked when she came on lolol this is WILD TIMES. Listening to the halftime commentators talk about it...it must be so easy to be in a straight man’s mind. “He must have said, hey I saw your concert, come see me.” LIKE BRO, U THINK THAT’S ALL IT TAKES TO DATE THE QUEEN...they need a woman in the space!!!!
I was wondering if you or Hunter Harris would be the first to drop a newsletter about this lol