Scenes From a (NBA) Marriage*

*Photo from Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union's wedding

Sep 21, 2021

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I want to preface everything that I’m about to say with two things. First: This is the most unhinged newsletter I’ve ever written.

Second: I love Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union’s relationship more than anything on this planet. I love their Instagram couple pics. Their TikToks. I love this one HGTV clip where they talk about how much they love flipping homes.

I started going down a rabbit hole of “NBA Player + Spouse + Wedding Photos” recently after LeBron James posted an 8-year wedding anniversary photo of him and his wife, Savannah, at their own “Personal Met Gala.”

Sir, let me tell you: You didn’t miss much! I defer to my friend Hunter to explain why.

kingjames

A post shared by @kingjames

Of course, my search history after seeing this post was the following:

There were more searches, but they were too embarrassing for this pointless newsletter.

Here’s the thing, the James’ got married in 2013 when Instagram barely existed so there are no social media posts from the event. Did they make guests sign an ironclad NDA? Would it make Leo’s “alleged” NDA look like child’s play? Who knows! But what we do know is it led me down a rabbit hole where I discovered some information that I can’t unsee.

Mr. Wade and Ms. Union’s wedding photos. Well, more specifically, one photo that I just…have some thoughts on.

When I tell you I gasped as I scrolled past this photo, I gasped. At first I thought to myself, “Maybe this is an ad for Casper Mattress that they snuck into their wedding day? Maybe that #spon con deal paid for the cake? The flowers?”

I do know that flowers are very expensive.

Casper was founded in 2014 so it could’ve been possible, but there’s no mention of it. I moved on from this pointless thought and turned to an entirely new direction: Did they……………..want to pose like this???

Not only is there one photo like this that is publicly available, but two!

I investigated further to see if it was their suggestion or the photographer’s to pose like this by watching their entire 18-minute wedding video. I still couldn’t find a clip of them posing on the bed!

So let’s go with the fact that they likely wanted this photo to happen or else they wouldn’t have approved two photos of them kneeling on what looks like a prop from the episode of Sex and the City about the Post-It breakup.

I’m sorry I can’t (help but mention it) don’t hate me.

Knowing they likely wanted this photo to happen, my next (and very obvious question) was, "“Okay, but why?” It’s not a height issue. According to a pointless Google search, Union is 5’7” and Wade is 6’4”. While there is a height difference, it’s not like Michael “I took that personally” Jordan and his wife, Yvette.

They are a foot difference and even this isn’t that bad, but it was the best I could do in a lazy Google, okay?!

Maybe Wade and Union are just big fans of…sleeping? Which, like same. Maybe Union’s feet were tired from standing for too long (also same)??? Whatever the case may be, we will never know the answer to this pointless question.

For now, I’ll be spending copious amounts of time stalking their respective Instagram feeds for a Casper #spon con deal and getting my beauty rest.

Zillow Listing Of The Week

Speaking of weddings, Lakers star Anthony Davis wed his longtime partner, Marlen, in Los Angeles on Saturday. Honestly, I could write an entire newsletter just about this wedding.

From serenading her on the dance floor to Adele (Yes, Adele!) being Rich Paul’s plus-one, there is a lot to unpack here. But this is about Mr. Davis’ home!

It was reported earlier this year that Davis spent $31 million on a Bel-Air mansion that looks like a small resort. Enjoy!