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Ronaldo Keeps Acting Like Drake

Ronaldo Keeps Acting Like Drake

Not Like Us: Soccer edition.

Madeline Hill's avatar
Madeline Hill
Feb 19, 2025
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Impersonal Foul
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Ronaldo Keeps Acting Like Drake
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If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.

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Cristiano Ronaldo made headlines for saying something…obnoxious…again. Are we shocked? No! This is what Ronaldo does.

He’s not out here making headlines for saying self-aware soundbites let’s be real.

In a recent interview with El Chiringuito, Ronaldo said he’s the GOAT, which is….hrrrm…..

There is a cottage industry of never-ending GOAT debates between Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. (Side note: Does anyone follow Messi on Instagram? He has the most unhinged #spon con posting strategy, sharing back-to-back posts from different brands who I know were probably mad that there wasn’t a little breathing room between brand deals. Who runs his social media?! Someone please email me if you know…)

Anyways!

The argument is verrrry similar to the LeBron James vs. Michael Jordan debate in basketball. However, I would argue the Messi/Ronaldo debate is even more dramatic and compelling—here’s why:

  • World soccer fans are a different level of passionate (at times absolutely unhinged in a way The Real Housewives could never)

  • There is no “different eras” factor. Ronaldo and Messi are contemporaries, only two years apart, and played head-to-head for years in their primes. We’d only see that between James and Jordan if there was some charity basketball event raising money for some natural disaster that will inevitably happen in the future. Climate change is real!!!

This story broke just days before Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl halftime show heard round the world and I haven’t stopped thinking about something in particular...

Does the Drake/Kendrick Lamar beef have more similarities to the Messi/Ronaldo GOAT debate than we think?

Here’s the thing: Kendrick is the obvious winner of *that* beef. There’s! No! Debate!

And here’s the *other* thing: Messi is obviously the GOAT despite his…odd Instagram strategy.

In the interview, Ronaldo proclaimed himself the GOAT when he said:

“One thing is taste -- if you like Messi, Pelé, Maradona, I understand that and I respect that -- but saying Ronaldo isn't complete... I'm the most complete. I haven't seen anybody better than me, and I say it from the heart.”

Ronaldo loveeess to refer to himself in the first person. He goes on to say, “Who's the best goal scorer in history? It's about numbers. Full stop.”

Full stop??? What are we an Instagram Story from a C-list celebrity getting mad at some other C-list celebrity via Story slide statements?

The interview continues with even more insufferable soundbites, but I will save your eyeballs. You can read it yourself if you want.

Ronaldo just feels like someone who is desperate to convince people of his greatness instead of letting his greatness speak for itself. All Ronaldo has are his “numbers,” which feels very Drake of him.

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