Maybe Don't Stalk A Professional Athlete After A One-Night Stand

It could land you in jail.

If the Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!

Imagine your friend invites a girl to a party he met via Instagram DMs. You guys start chatting at the party and have a one-night stand.

You don’t think that much of it until she starts stalking and threatening you and your friends and now she may go to jail because of it.

If Fatal Attraction were set in 2023, it would be this messy story out of the Premiere League.

Chelsea star, Mason Mount, met Orla Melissa Sloan at a party at the house of his friend and teammate, Ben Chilwell.

Mount and Sloan hooked up as professional athletes and girls from Instagram often do. Mount claims they chatted on and off for six months afterward until things took a turn for the bizarre.

Mason Mount looks like a guy who would make it to hometown dates on The Bachelor only to get eliminated when his high school girlfriend shows up to win him back and he eliminates himself.

Sloan allegedly began sending threatening text messages to Mount.

One of my favorites is when Sloan reveals that she has a new character named “Devil Baby” that she will “unlock” if Mount doesn’t apologize: “You must apologise or you will unlock a new character - Devil Baby.”

Devil Baby sounds like the name of a Y2K clothing line that Bella Hadid is investing in.

I digress.

Mount blocked Sloan, but allegedly shared that he was worried Sloan would show up at the Chelsea training facility.

Things took a turn for the worse when Sloan began threatening Mount’s friends, Chilwell and Billy Gilmour (another Premiere League player).

At one point, Sloan threatened Mount and Chilwell saying: “You and Ben [Chilwell] will be destroyed…Beware of devil baby Mason, I can morph in a second.”

Ben Chilwell (left) looks like he really was Made In Chelsea. Billy Gilmour (right) looks like he’d be friends with Tyler Herro.

According to The Sun, Sloan changed her number 21 times after Chilwell blocked her. She even allegedly sent Chilwell a screenshot of her $12.99 receipt for her new number, claiming that she wasn’t buying food to buy more phone numbers???

Unrelated—did you know you can buy phone numbers on the App Store? Lmao news to me…

Sloan continued to harass Chilwell, sending him a list of women she claims she had “found out about.”

Of course, she also created an Instagram account with the username DevilBaby_10, where she posted collages of Chilwell with other women like it’s 2008 and we’re all using Pic Stitch in our Facebook albums that are named things like “Jess With The Pizza Glasses” or “Paper Maps Are Lame.”

Why did we give them inside joke names? Why didn’t we call them “Jess’ Birthday Party” or “Late Night Driving Adventures.” Anyways…

After Gilmour moved from Chelsea to Brighton last year, the stalking continued. He told the court that Brighton put in new safety measures to protect him from Sloan.

Gilmour also alleges that he had to delete all of his friends and family off of Instagram so Sloan would not be able to contact them.

One of the most insane details of the case is that Sloan lied about being pregnant and claimed that Gilmour was the father—even though they never had sex.

Gilmour told the court that the harassment and stalking affected his play: “I have not been able to sleep and I have had to take sleeping tablets which has affected my performance.”

I hope Gilmour can sleep better now knowing that Sloan has pled guilty to stalking Mount and Gilmour. Sloan also pled guilty to harassing Chilwell without violence.

No one puts Devil Baby in a corner.

Sloan will be sentenced on June 20th and could face prison time.

Other Pointless Sports Gossip

Shailene Woodley’s ex is a Swiftie.

After months of attempting to serve Shaq in the FTX class action lawsuit, he finally got…served.

Scottie Pippen called Michael Jordan a “horrible player”… Divorce! Does! Not! Look! Good! On! Pippen! (Or the fact that his ex wife most likely will marry Jordan’s son…)

Two top executives for the Bayern Munich soccer team were fired basically right after the team won a championship. Oop!

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