If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!
There’s quite possibly no one on the planet who loves the Bloomin' Onion® (Yes, it’s trademarked) more than Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James and his wife Savannah.
On Thursday, Savannah shared an Instagram Story reacting to the news that the Outback Steakhouse in Akron, Ohio (where they’re from) is closing.
Fans of places like Sweetgreen and Cava in Akron are probably amped that the Outback will likely be converted to one of those fast-casual dining spots.
Let’s be real: LeBron and Savannah James do not care if another restaurant opens that plans on “disrupting” the industrial restaurant complex with a lowercase, one-word title in Outback’s place.
This Outback location closing is personal. They had their first date there!
Based on LeBron’s repost of Savannah’s Instagram Story, this man is UPSET.
Maybe he’s even more upset about this news than usual, given the fact that he’s putting the Los Angeles Lakers season on his back after scoring a record-breaking 40,000 career points…and the Lakers *still* lost.
That’s like doing an entire group project where everyone keeps opening and closing the Google Doc (you know you can see their little icon in the corner), but they don’t actually add anything.
This then forces you to do the entire project by yourself, and you end up with an 82.
Anyways!
Outback isn’t the first chain restaurant the couple went to early in their dating history.
According to PEOPLE Magazine, they met in high school and had their first hang-out with friends at an Applebee’s after one of LeBron’s basketball games.
A few weeks later, they had their first official date at this Outback location where—according to Savannah—LeBron brought her leftovers back to her house after she left them in his car:
"I knew he loved me when I left my leftovers from dinner in his car. I'd totally forgotten about them, and he brought them to me. I think he just wanted another excuse to come and see me."
I must know: Was it part of the Bloomin' Onion® that she brought home??? You cannot leave that in the car!!!
At this point, LeBron should purchase this single Outback location, and I can guarantee he can turn it into a *thing*.
Have Rich Paul bring Adele to the grand reopening and she’ll sing ‘Hello’ and then maybe everyone will stop talking about trying to get a reservation at Frog Club.
I don’t even think this is that unrealistic!
I crunched the numbers (clicked on the first Google hit) and, apparently, the total investment to open up a location is $1.6 million.
LeBron is currently on a two-year $99,023,288 contract with the Lakers, meaning that re-opening this location would only be 1.6 percent of his salary.
Not only does LeBron have the financial means to re-open this location, but he also famously loves junk food.
According to former teammate Tristan Thompson (you know who), LeBron “eats like s***”:
He has the worst f---ing diet ever. Ask him what he eats for breakfast. He has like five French toast, drowns it in syrup with strawberries and bananas. Then he has like a four-egg omelette and then he goes and just f---ing dunks on somebody. It doesn't make sense.
He eats desserts with every meal. He'll come with his one-week diet, vegan crap, but he literally eats like it doesn't make sense. He's really a specimen. He eats like s---. I remember one year I tried to eat like he ate and it just didn't work out. I started gaining weight and said, 'F--- this.' I mean it works for him. He loves sweets. He loves sweets. He eats desserts and French toast. It's crazy how his body just burns it.
Just! Buy! The! Outback!
At the very least, Outback should host their wedding anniversary dinner in September because who needs a bouquet of roses when you can have a bouquet of… onion?
And if all else fails, at least there is a LongHorn Steakhouse across the street from the now-closed Outback…
What’s Larsa Pippen Up To?
Welcome to a new series, What’s Larsa Pippen Up To?, where I will be covering…well..what Larsa Pippen and her boyfriend Marcus Jordan have been up to. Enjoy!
The last we spoke about the pair, the broke up and then were spotted together on Valentine’s Day, hinting that maybe all of those passive-aggressive Instagram Stories by Pippen…didn’t matter?
I digress!
During Pippen’s recent appearance on Two Ts In A Pod, hosted by two ex-Real Housewives, Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge, Pippen said that they never really broke up!
Pippen also added that she regretted deleting all of her photos with Jordan:
“I feel like I was very emotional… I wish I didn’t delete those photos.”
As Pippen knows well…there are always more opportunities for #content…
Other Pointless Sports Gossip
Not gossip, just the fact that Caitlin Clark broke the NCAA all-time scoring record for both men and women like the GOAT that she is. (via ESPN)
Fashion model—sorry NFL prospect—Sam Hartman deserves to book a hair commercial. (via X)
Speaking of hair commercials…Miami Heat’s Jaime Jaquez Jr. says you should ask his girlfriend what hair products he uses. (via X)
Steph and Ayesha Curry are having another kid! Cute! (via People)
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If LeBron doesn't buy that Outback I will be so disappointed. (I, too, love a Blooming Onion. )