Imagine If Your Mom Dated Your Coworker
The Larsa Dance.
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Everything you need to know about Larsa Pippen can be summed up by her tagline from season 2 of The Real Housewives of Miami: “It’s my game now, and the fans are going wild.”
Whether she predicted the drama that would unfold in her personal life or not doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m making you learn about it now.
You may know Ms. Pippen as the ex-wife of former NBA star and Best Supporting Actor in The Last Dance, Scottie Pippen. Or you may know her as Kim Kardashian’s ex BFF. You may even know her as the co-founder of jewelry line, Larsa Marie, where she describes herself as “…born to inspire others” on the website.
How do I know her you ask?
I know her as a mom who once dated a guy that is now her son’s coworker while she is currently dating the son of her ex-husband’s former coworker.
Let’s dive in to this mess.
The Son
Scotty Pippen Jr. may be the only player in the history of the NBA who wishes he was sent back to the G League.
Pippen is currently on a two-way contract with the Los Angeles Lakers, which essentially means he’s playing in the NBA and the G League at the same time to develop his skills and get minutes. It’s basically like a really high paid internship for a senior in college.
He’s the eldest child of Scottie (spelled differently, but also maybe it’s not supposed to be?) and Larsa.
Pippen played basketball in college at Vanderbilt University. After going unselected at the 2022 NBA Draft, Pippen was signed to a two-way contract with the Lakers and the South Bay Lakers.
And now he gets to be teammates with some guy his mom used to hook up with...
The Ex
I’m not sure what Jeanie Buss is drinking, but it sounds like she ordered multiple rounds of the Andy Cohen Special before the trade deadline.
During the trade drama heard ‘round the world, Malik Beasley was traded from the Utah Jazz to the Lakers in a three-team trade deal.
Back to that in a moment.
Beasley and Montana Yao got married in 2020 and have two children together. They nearly got divorced after Beasley was spotted with Larsa Pippen in November of that year holding hands at a mall.
Yao filed for divorce a month later and claimed that Beasley had “left his family behind” amid his relationship with Pippen.
They split in April 2021, which led Beasley to do what embarrassing men do and post a public apology to Yao on his Instagram. This is my favorite part:
“I ain’t looking to be judged I’m looking for forgiveness.. To forgive me for hurting my family the way I did. At the end of the day I’m a lover boy and I miss holding y’all and loving y’all..”
Okay lover boy!
Eventually, their divorce case was dismissed in August of last year and they seem good? Or good enough? Who knows!
What I do know is Beasley may be faced with more questions about his relationship with Pippen when he gets to know his new teammate….Pippen.
The New Boyfriend
If your mom’s ex lover boy being your new coworker wasn’t enough, imagine finding out that she’s now dating the son of your dad’s former coworker.
Oh, and that former coworker is also Michael Jordan.
You! Can’t! Make! This! Stuff! Up!
That’s right: Michael Jordan’s son, Marcus, is currently dating Pippen. You know it’s official when just last week Pippen called Jordan her “forever Valentine” on Instagram.
Jordan and Pippen were first spotted together in September of last year and Pippen claimed they were “just friends” when she went on Watch What Happens Live, but we all know what that led to…
My favorite part about Pippen’s interview on WWHL is this iconic quote:
“I never really knew Marcus' mom or them; I just recently met them a couple of years ago."
Given Pippen made her relationship with Jordan Instagram official, all I want is a courtside photo at an upcoming Lakers game of Scotty Pippen, seated next to Michael Jordan, who is seated next to Marcus Jordan, who is seated next to Larsa Pippen.
The world gave us The Last Dance. Now the world needs to give us the NBA’s version of The Last Supper.
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The. Larsa. Dance. Say no more!
Reality girlie drama + basketball pettiness + an infographic explainer = the way to my heart ❤️