I Feel Bad For Tony Hawk
This white guy looks like other white guys.
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He was the first person to ever skateboard on White House grounds with permission from officials.
He became the first skateboarder to land a 900. Whatever that means.
And no one seems to know who Tony Hawk is.
Separate articles (mostly old tweet roundups) have been written about this phenomenon in 2018, 2019, and 2020.
He’s been mistaken for that guy from the Marvel movies, that guy in Dirty Dancing, and that cyclist.
This is Hawk’s legacy: Being a white guy that kind of looks like other white guys.
There are so many instances of Hawk being told he looks like…himself…that he needs his own Who? Weekly spinoff.
But Hawk seems to be fine with all of these “You sort of look like this famous white guy” moments:
“I think sometimes people, I assume, get excited, and they're trying to register it... so they'll just sort of say things without really giving them critical thought.”
This says more about regular people than it does about how much Hawk looks like every other dad who lives in Orange County and wears Oakley sunglasses even though he doesn’t surf or do anything remotely athletic.
I could go on and on about every instance where Hawk was mistaken for another white guy, but the real story here is how excited humans get when they think they sort of know who someone is.
It’s these moments of realization that spark something in us. Whether that’s someone you stalked on Instagram three months ago and ran into them at a coffee shop even though they have no idea who you are or just a normal famous person, we crave the satisfaction of getting it right.
People just want to guess the white guy correctly. That’s really what all of this comes down to.
For Hawk, he’s just a punching bag for the innate need for us to close the loop, giving us that confirmation that we are indeed correct.
Hawk also loves to close the loop. Last month, he attempted to do a 720 (don’t ask me what this is), something he hadn’t done in three years. As you watch the full video, you see him try and fail and try again.
Just like those regular people who keep trying to figure out who he is, it takes a few tries until they finally land the trick and get it right.
Other Pointless Gossip
LeBron James called this white guy “Ol’ steroid ass” during a game.
And followed it up with a new name I cannot wait to use: Courtside Karen.
Zillow Listing Of The Week
The Big Game is finally here. I truly can’t believe advertisers still have to call it that during commercials. In honor of this annual tradition, let’s dive into Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ $1.8 million Kansas City “Mahome” shall we?
Other Sports Stuff
Lakers forward Jared Dudley had some words to say about Paul George in his new book. And Paul George is not having it.
Lionel Messi’s $672 million contract leaked and yet he is still out here posting #spon con.
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