Career Advice For Jimmy Butler

Just a few suggestions.

If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.

For partnership inquiries or to just say hello, email madeline@impersonalfoul.com

Before getting into it, I wanted to address the unimaginable loss and devastation everyone in Los Angeles is facing after these fires. There truly are no words.

I know so many friends and friends of friends who have lost everything, and I’m sure you do too.

I lived in Los Angeles for almost a decade, so this really hits close to home.

If you are looking for a way to help a family directly, some of my dear friends lost everything in the Eaton fire. Their eldest daughter, Theo, was the flower girl at our wedding and I wish I could be with them right now…

They have two young children, just moved into their house less than a year ago, and have now lost everything.

You can support them as they rebuild by donating to their GoFundMe or sharing it to your network below:

Since the bulk of this newsletter is for paying subscribers only, I’ll also be donating 10% of my income from paying subscriptions for the remainder of the month to them.

I am thinking of everyone in Los Angeles who has been impacted, and I hope my silly little corner of the sports world can be a brief moment of levity for you.

If any Impersonal Foul readers have been impacted, please share your GoFundMe pages with me.

Sending you all my love. ❤️

Now, onto the Jimmy Butler nonsense…

jimmybutler

A post shared by @jimmybutler

If you can’t escape the SportsInternet™️ like me, your social timelines and podcast feeds are definitely flooded this week with obnoxious Jimmy Butler “fake trades.”

For those who don’t follow the NBA that closely, there is a literally a website where you can make fake player trades between teams and the site tells you if the trade works based on boring league rules like matching salaries bla bla honestly who cares.

This is a thing middle-aged men do to cosplay as GM and also invent podcast content out of thin air (we don’t do that on

The Sports Gossip Show

I swear). It’s like fantasy football, but not fun, so I guess it’s actually nothing like fantasy football???

Whenever a big NBA star like Butler is put on the trade block, these fake trades are 97 percent of sports media content that week, and I can’t take it anymore.

I have taken it upon myself to do something a little different and suggest some career…trades for Butler.

Listen: If Pat Riley can’t find a trade he likes for Butler by the deadline and Butler is stuck on the Heat, maybe Butler can just try something new.

Butler is often at odds with the status quo, employers, institutions, bureaucrats, the man???? You! Get! My Point!

He seems to be a cool guy. Butler has a modern renaissance man “I’ll try anything” vibe. From that coffee business to becoming a country artist, Butler seems to be really good at most things he tries.

If he does decide, I have a few ideas in mind…

Career Advice For Jimmy Butler

Actor

Butler made a cameo in Office Christmas Party in 2016, which is an underrated Christmas movie imo…

When he was in it, I was excited. Could this be the beta test for him to really be in a movie a la LeBron James in Trainwreck???

I think Butler would be hilarious in the right part. Given he loves the *dramatic arts* off the court, maybe he would love them on set, too…Imagine the Variety headlines:

• Jimmy Butler Sparks On-Set Romance Rumors

• EXCLUSIVE: Jimmy Butler Goes Over Director’s Head to Producer to Suggest He Should Take Over as Director?

Please Don’t Start A Sports Podcast

We live in a sports media era, where former athletes deciding against having a player podcast is more of a career move than having one.

As Jimmy tends to go against the grain, I can see him making the lovable career choice NOT to become another podcast host.

You! Are! So! Rich! Do! Rich! Things!

Learn to sail. Play chess. Read. Write a script. Bake. Start a lifestyle blog.

I just feel like there has to be something more interesting than talking about the job you left on a podcast when you’re as rich as these guys are.

Coach A Random High School Basketball Team

Could you imagine??? I just feel like this is something Butler would do.

Just walk into a random high school somewhere and be like, “Can I apply to be the basketball coach?”

Again, this would be cooler than athletes’ current extracurricular activities, like hanging on to NFTs too long, buying small pieces of sports teams, or starting some liquor brand with a minimal font logo.