Bill Belichick Is Dating A 24-Year-Old

They met on a flight.

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I’ll cut to the chase: Tom Brady’s old boss (72) is dating a former competitive cheerleader (24).

TMZ reported that former New England Patriots legendary head coach Bill Belichick is dating Jordan Hudson.

According to the report, the pair met on a flight in 2021 from Boston to the Florida area, as one does and Belichick signed her textbook lmao.

Of course, TMZ did the Lord’s work and interviewed one of Hudson’s former competitive cheerleading…coworkers, I guess? The source alleged that Belichick and Hudson bonded over “a philosophy project the student-athlete had been working on.”

Belichick used the oldest play in his playbook: Pretending to help someone “study” when you’re really just trying to get their number.

I’ve done this on more than one occasion, including a time in high school when I was paired up with the baseball captain on an AP Bio project, somehow got his number, and started texting him on my flip phone.

If you went to high school with me and are reading this, you know who I’m talking about.

According to this “friend” (who feels more like that Caroline Calloway friend than anything), the pair exchanged numbers and began texting about things like “her school work” and the “X’s and O’s of her cheerleading routines.”

Making play-call bits *would* be Belichick’s banter move. I can’t imagine him sending memes back and forth.

If he did send memes, they would be Reels that went viral three weeks before on TikTok.

Their text exchanges probably look like this:

Belichick: Hi there, how is your day going ? Sent from my iPhone [Space is intentional after the question mark IYKYK]

Hudson: In DESPERATE need of coffee. Heading to Starbies later to get that new secret menu matcha cold foam.

Belichick: Not sure what “Starbies” is, but you better text me when you … touch down. See what I did there?! Ha ha Sent from my iPhone

Hudson: Oh I see what you did there lmao. It’s Starbucks. Want anything?

Belichick: No thank you. I am reviewing old tape so be right back. Sent from my iPhone

Hudson: whut lol

Anyways!

Belichick and Hudson began dating a year after they met after Belichick broke up with his partner, Linda Holliday, after 16 years. 16!

I’m honestly shocked we’re just finding out about this relationship because Hudson was spotted at a few Patriots games in 2022 and 2023 and out on dates.

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Back in March, Belichick was spotted at a cheerleading competition in Maryland that was held in a convention center.

You know that man is down bad when he is willingly driving to a convention center, presumably paying $45 for parking, getting lost finding Hall A/B/C, and having a bunch of dads come up to him asking for selfies while he is (presumably) there to support his girlfriend.

Young! Love!

I’ve got to be honest: I should’ve seen this relationship coming for Belichick.

During Tom Brady’s roast we discussed last week, one of Brady’s former Patriots teammates, Rob Gronkowski, had some not-so-subtle digs at Belichick’s…dating preferences.

By the way, if you don’t know who Gronkowski is, just think of him as Travis Kelce for people who watch the Jersey Shore. Can’t explain it, but it makes sense in my head.

Anyways!

During the roast, Gronkowski alluded to Belichick’s taste in women by saying: “Coach, you used to talk about Foxborough High School when we sucked. But now I know why you were so obsessed with Foxborough High School: You were scouting your new girlfriend.”

I know, I know. Age is just a number…but it *is* a number.

I reached out to Hudson to understand what it’s like dating a former NFL coach, but she sadly hasn’t gotten back to me or else this would be a very different newsletter.

If I hear back, you will definitely be the first to know.

Zillow Listing of The Week

OG Impersonal Foul readers will remember this series and I feel like it’s time to bring it back. If Zillow wants to sponsor this section, please email me at theimpersonalfoul at gmail dot com. I am so serious.

Words I never thought I would utter: Former MLB star Derek Jeter may have finally found a buyer for his castle in New York after six years on the market and $8 million in price cuts.

At one point, Jeter was so desperate he put it at auction (like Sonja Morgan thank god her townhouse finally sold), and it *still* didn’t sell.

The “castle” (loose interpretation of a castle imo) reappeared on the market recently at $6.3 million and is pending sale.

In honor of this exciting news (for Jeter), let’s dig into this property…

First off—Calling this a castle is certainly a choice. If anything, it looks like a Hilton Garden Inn set inside an off-brand amusement park.

This living room could be fine, but I am too distracted by the literal BEAR and mini horse in the corner. What real estate agent told him this was a good idea???

Last, but certainly not least…he has a miniature replica of the Statue of Liberty. This feels insane on so many levels, but especially as a focal point of the property???

I must know who is buying this home…

Other Pointless Sports Gossip

• USMNT star Christian Pulisic is dating pro golfer Alexa Melton based on this evidence, at least. (via Goal)

• LeBron and Savannah James brought their own juices (and snacks it looks like in the coolers) to the Las Vegas Aces game against the New York Liberty game. I know they aren’t from Erewhon, but this is a missed opportunity...My bet is on a James smoothie in the next six months…(via X)

• Hold up: Maybe Gisele Bündchen and her boyfriend didn’t break up after all??? (via TMZ Sports)

Leaving you with this…

By the way, if you’re headed to the Olympics this summer, I’ll be there let’s hang and talk about sports nonsense.

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