An Olympian Is On The FBI's 10 Most Wanted List

I'm sure Netflix is already working on a documentary.

If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.

For partnership inquiries or to just say hello, email madeline@impersonalfoul.com

Olympic snowboarder Ryan Wedding has spent over a decade working with a different type of (deadly) snow.

Prosecutors allege that Wedding operated a billion-dollar criminal enterprise, moving 54 tons of cocaine between Colombia, Mexico, the United States, and Canada from 2011-2024—and he’s apparently responsible for three murders.

Known as “El Jefe” and “Public Enemy,” Wedding and childhood friend Andrew Clark (who has since been arrested) ran the operation from Mexico and was assisted by the cartel to move the cocaine to stash houses in Los Angeles.

They would then move the cocaine across the United States and Canada. Oooop!

In a recent Los Angeles Magazine story, Wedding apparently had Clark keep contract killers on speed dial:

“One such victim was Mohammed Zafar…whose May 18, 2024, murder was ordered in retaliation for a drug debt. Months earlier, in December 2023, Wedding and Clark, according to a federal indictment, paid for the execution-style murders of a truck driver whose haul went missing, only the killer shot up the wrong targets, a married Indian couple…who were visiting their daughter in Caledon, Ontario.”

And as of four days ago, Wedding is officially on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted List.

Akil Davis, the Assistant Director of the FBI’s Los Angeles Field Office, released the following statement that reads like a bad opening line at a standup open mic in Burbank:

“Wedding went from shredding powder on the slopes at the Olympics to distributing powder cocaine on the streets of U.S. cities and in his native Canada.”

And the DEA being…the DEA apparently don’t know when a bit has died when Matthew Allen, a special agent in charge of the DEA’s Los Angeles Field Division said this:

“The former Canadian snowboarder unleashed an avalanche of death and destruction, here and abroad.”

You know these two will kill it (pun somewhat intended) in a future Netflix documentary series about this story.

The McDonald’s Monopoly Documentary FBI Guy walked so these two could run.

Obviously, they are offering a reward for any information leading to Wedding’s arrest and/or conviction. $10 million to be exact.

He honestly can’t be *that* hard to find, considering he’s 6’3” with a mustache??? Unless you’re looking in Williamsburg, then GOOD LUCK BABE.

My favorite part of this story is that the FBI’s joint operation was called “Operation Giant Slalom” lmao.

Before you ask: No, Wedding was not the Shaun White of Canadian snowboarding. In fact, he wasn’t really good at all (even by Olympic standards).

Wedding competed in the men's parallel giant slalom event (don’t ask me what that is) at the 2002 Winter Olympics. He came in 24th place and didn’t even qualify for the elimination round.

According to prosecutors, they believe that Wedding is being protected by the cartel, as he’s continued to evade arrest.

My recommendation for the FBI is to wait this out until the 2026 Winter Olympics and maybe Wedding will get cocky and show up in Milan. Only time will tell…

Other Pointless Sports Gossip

• Olivia Culpo and San Francisco 49ers running back Christian McCaffrey are having a baby. (via TMZ)

• Oh, and USWNT star Sophia Smith and Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Michael Wilson are *also* expecting! (via PEOPLE Magazine)

• Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner attended the BNP Paribas Indian Wells Open. Yes, we’ll be talking about this on The Sports Gossip Show duh. (via Page Six)

• Bill Belichick and his 24-year-old girlfriend attended a UNC basketball game. (via X)

If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.

You can follow me on Instagram here, Twitter here and TikTok here. Enjoy the endless void of content!