An Investigation Of The Sierra Canyon Parking Lot
Drake made me do it.
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Your favorite softboi has released a new album.
After much anticipation (and pettiness from Kanye), Drake has released his sixth studio album. Certified Lover Boy reminds me of a first date I once went on with a writer who proceeded to cry in my car about how he’s still in love with his ex girlfriend.
I never saw this softboi again.
I digress. This is a Pointless! Sports! Newsletter! After! All!
I’d like to talk about one song in particular on Certified Lover Boy. More specifically, one lyric in “Papi’s Home”, the second song on the album. In it, he calls himself “Daddy” more than once, which I feel like only people who aren’t actually a Daddy publicly call themselves a Daddy. Nicki Minaj is on the track, which honestly aside from the lyrics that I’m about to tell you about is the best part.
What starts off as a “Look at me I’m at the top and no one else is.” sort of song, quickly pivots to a song about…high school basketball? Stay with me.
Sierra Canyon parking lot lookin' like Magic City parking lot
Now, if you read my newsletter from a few weeks back, Sierra Canyon isn’t your average high school nor is Magic City your average strip club. If you aren’t familiar, Sierra Canyon is a private day school in Los Angeles that educates LeBron James’ son, Bronny, and Dwayne Wade’s son, Zaire.
They also happen to both play on the basketball team.
Their basketball games are legendary. Sitting court side at a Sierra Canyon game is almost as important as sitting court side at a Lakers game. Everyone from Michael B. Jordan to…Drake…have been to one of these games.
Sierra Canyon has sold out Minneapolis’ Target Center arena, where they played a literal high school basketball game in front of 17,000 fans—more than had watched the Timberwolves play the Golden State Warriors two nights before, according to New York Magazine.
They even did a two-week trip to China, where they played games in six cities. So yeah, Sierra Canyon really is the Magic City-equivalent of…high schools? lmao.
But what I’d really like to talk about is the fact that Drake is saying the Sierra Canyon parking lot looks like the Magic City parking lot. Well, I did some Googling and let me tell you, I have some thoughts.
I found an aerial photo of what I think is Sierra Canyon’s gym parking lot. To me, meeting me in this parking lot screams, “I bought some extra In-N-Out do you want some?” or “Can I copy your math homework real quick before we have to turn it in?”
Magic City’s parking lot on the other hand screams, “Do you want to post-game at Waffle House after?” or “My Uber is taking way too long.” I’m into both of those vibes, because you know that both of those phrases imply that you’ve had a fun night and are likely hungry and want to go home.
Listen: I know Drake added this comparison to imply that both parking lots are packed. On game day at Sierra Canyon and basically every night at Magic City. I understand this connection, but it’s a weird one. Drake basically just compared a parking lot where Capri Suns and orange slices are exchanged with one of the most iconic strip clubs in the world.
Whatever his intentions, I hope him and that Sierra Canyon Mom are still going strong and that we get a music video where Drake is performing a halftime show at a Sierra Canyon game.
Give us what the people want.
I’ll be back next week either very happy or very sad, depending on how the Georgia-Clemson game goes tomorrow. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, Go Dawgs™.
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.
It wasn’t just a mom though… there various HS basketball girl players who have came out in interviews talking about Drake showing up to “support them” and texted them