If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.
For partnership inquiries or to just say hello, email madeline@impersonalfoul.com
As Opening Day approaches, one of the most famous baseball franchises is making a…hair-raising change.
This morning, the New York Yankees announced they are reversing a decades-long policy that prohibited players from having facial hair and will allow “well-groomed beards.”
In a statement from current owner, Hal Steinbrenner, he said:
“In recent weeks I have spoken to a large number of former and current Yankees -- spanning several eras -- to elicit their perspectives on our longstanding facial hair and grooming policy, and I appreciate their earnest and varied feedback. These most recent conversations are an extension of ongoing internal dialogue that dates back several years. Ultimately the final decision rests with me, and after great consideration, we will be amending our expectations to allow our players and uniformed personnel to have well-groomed beards moving forward. It is the appropriate time to move beyond the familiar comfort of our former policy.”
Do you think the Zoom title of these “conversations” was BEARD TOUCH BASE 1:1?
Ahead of the 1976 season, late former owner George Steinbrenner implemented a policy that forced players to either be clean-shaven or wear a mustache (very 70s of him imo).
The policy banned all players, coaches, and male executives from displaying “…any facial hair other than mustaches (except for religious reasons), and scalp hair may not be grown below the collar. Long sideburns and 'mutton chops' are not specifically banned.”
Why did Steinbrenner come up with this policy in the first place? Maybe he had some weird trauma in his childhood about facial hair, but my logical guess is that it’s because he was in the military—and we know how the military feels about facial hair.
Most players went along with this odd HR policy, but there were a few players who resisted the ban.
According to ESPN, Don Mattingly refused to trim his mullet and was fined and benched when he played for the team in the 90s. When Devin Williams showed up to spring training with a beard after being traded from the Milwaukee Brewers, he quickly shaved it down to a mustache before his first practice with the team.
At spring training one year, Lou Piniella told Steinbrenner, “Jesus Christ had long hair and a beard. Why can’t we have beards and long hair?” According to legend, Steinbrenner showed Piniella a small bond beyond the outfield fence and said, “You see that pond? Walk across that pond and you can have a beard and long hair.”
I have so many questions about this policy.
Are there players who were almost traded to the Yankees and refused to do it because they wanted to keep their beards??? Does this leave the door open for a Yankee to follow in Miami Heat star Jimmy Butler’s footsteps and do a facial hair gag at media day??? Is this why Juan Soto decided to go and play for the Mets so he could grow out a beard???
Here’s my free advertising pitch: Let’s get an ad from one of those razor companies, like Gillette or Billie or Flamingo, to air right before the Yankees home opener against the Brewers (ironic). The camera pans to Aaron Judge with a beard in the locker room. He picks up a razor, about to shave it off, and remembers he doesn’t have to anymore. Judge starts walking out of the locker room. Fade to black.
Pay! Me! The! Big! Bucks!
I feel like Judge can pull facial hair off, so I’ll leave you with this:
Other Pointless Sports Gossip
Milwaukee Bucks player and oversized sweater guy Kyle Kuzma is engaged to Winnie Harlow! (via Vogue)
Golfer Jordan Spieth and his wife Annie are expecting their third child. (via PEOPLE Magazine)
Hailee Steinfeld roasted the AFC East division (her fiancé Josh Allen plays for the Buffalo Bills). I think this is one of the first times we’ve heard her speak publicly about the Bills??? (via Who What Wear)
Philadelphia Eagles star A.J. Brown bought a life-size mannequin to display his Super Bowl uniform in their home. No, he didn’t wash it. (via X)
If Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. This newsletter is free, but consider becoming a paying subscriber for $6/month to support the work that I’m doing.
You can follow me on Instagram here, Twitter here and TikTok here. Enjoy the endless void of content!