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Unvaccinated State Farm car insurance salesman, Aaron Rodgers, likes to take medical advice from his “now good-friend”, Joe Rogan.
Last Wednesday, the Packers quarterback and fiancé of Shailene Woodley tested positive for COVID.
While you can definitely still get COVID after being vaccinated (but please go get vaccinated seriously), I feel like the reaction on the internet was something along the lines of, “I bet….he…..isn’t…….vaccinated.”
We Were Right for 400 please?
Last Friday, Rodgers went on the The Pat McAfee Show to discuss how he did extensive research (500 pages) and decided not to get vaccinated. What makes this entire situation even more chaotic is the fact that the NFL basically let him have an “alternative treatment” count as vaccination. Cool!
Given the fact that Rodgers seems to be confused by how vaccinations or science works, I thought it would be cute to put his real quotes from that interview into some confusing (and cute!) graphics. Enjoy!
Now-Good Friend
Okay did they become friends when he tested positive? Did they email back and forth using their hotmail email addresses that are connected to their Reddit accounts??? I need answers!
Cancel Culture Casket
If Rodgers hasn’t trademarked this phrase by now he needs to fire his Joe Rogan-appointed lawyer!
Proud Of The Research
He read 500 pages, y’all and made up his own assignment!
Kyrie Who?!
Kyrie Irving is breathing a sigh of relief that Rodgers won’t stop talking! Also, bodily autonomy! My BoDy My ChoIce!
Oh, Shailene
Big Little Misinformation actress, Shailene Woodley, is engaged to Rodgers if you hadn’t heard. And yes, she addressed this interview by sharing the most Shailene Woodley subtweet on her Instagram Story that you will ever see:
"Calm seas may bring you peace. But storms are where you'll find your power."
Alexa play Cold Little Heart!
When the media caught wind of this, Woodley claimed that the quote had nothing to do with Rodgers by explaining how Stories work:
"Do you even know how stories work brah? They self-delete after 24 hours. Literally lol'ing over here over your determination to make a story out of nothing. Grasping at straws my dears."
Woodley didn’t stop there. On Tuesday, she took to her Story again by calling out the Daily Mail for misidentifying Rodgers in photos about the scandal by implying that he has bigger feet meaning….I’ll leave that up to your imagination.
Regardless, Woodley has bigger fish to fry, like her collaboration with a sunglasses line that used the slogan “Let your nature flow” to sell shades!
Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm Isn’t There
You might be wondering, “Where is State Farm in all of this?” If you weren’t aware, State Farm employs Rodgers and has for nearly a decade.
Unfortunately, State Farm isn’t a good neighbor and doesn’t really seem to care if you get vaccinated to protect the immunocompromised/grandparents/etc.!
After news of the interview came out, State Farm released a statement that they will definitely regret:
“We don’t support some of the statements that he has made, but we respect his right to have his own personal point of view. We recognize our customers, employees, agents and brand ambassadors come from all walks of life, with differing viewpoints on many issues. Our mission at State Farm is to support safer, stronger communities. To that end, we encourage vaccinations, but respect everyone’s right to make a choice based on their personal circumstances.”
We! Encourage! Vaccinations!
This statement is the equivalent of a guy I met at a frat party once in college who said this: “I’m fiscally conservative, but I’m cool with gay people.” True! Story!
Seems like State Farm has surprisingly bad communications specialists.
Scientists Need A Break
While Rodgers is texting Rogan, the scientists are scrambling to prevent the spread of misinformation from this “man”:
“When you choose to do what Aaron Rodgers is doing, which is to use the platform to put out misinformation that could cause people to make bad decisions for themselves or their children, then you have done harm.”
The only punishment from the league so far is that they fined Rodgers for attending a Halloween party after an internal investigation. At this point, though, the NFL hasn’t really done a great job of investigating really anything, as we learned with the Washington Football Team.
What we do know is Rodgers is getting less playing time (he’s currently isolating) and less air time. On Sunday, only 1.5% of State Farm commercials featured Rodgers in comparison to 25% the previous two Sundays.
As the kids say, the numbers don’t lie. Just ask Fauci and the CDC.
To wrap this embarrassing nonsense up, Rodgers went back on the Pat McAfee Show to say that he “takes full responsibility” for anyone that was misled by his comments. Misled!!!
Maybe Rodgers will get vaccinated, but he probably won’t. For now, I’ll be sitting here vaccinated as I try and understand this Instagram post he shared for a #spon con deal with CashApp and Bitcoin.
Someone please collect these white men.
Other Pointless Gossip
Basketball legend, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, with the best take on the whole Rodgers situation.
We don’t deserve Scottie Pippen!!!
Joc Pederson went to Athens, Georgia. I love that sentence for us.
Other Sports Stuff
Harry Styles’ no. 1 fan goes to D.C. y’all.
Succession, but about this guy.
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.