If the Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!
Summer 2023 has everything: Shocked Americans learning that there isn’t a drive-thru Starbucks in Positano, Ariana Grande getting a divorce (and allegedly dating that theater kid), and Damian Lillard requesting a trade from the Portland Trail Blazers.
In the past month, while everyone has been sipping Aperol Spritz’s and attending the Renaissance Tour (myself included), the Sports Gossip Cinematic Universe has been doing the most!!!
After returning from vacation in Mallorca (I’m sorry) with
, I’m all caught up on what has been going on in the World Wide Web of pointless sports gossip.I’ve rounded up some of my favorite nonsense you can send in the group chat below.
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I’ll be back next week with more regularly scheduled nonsense. Enjoy!
He Went To Footlocker
I *must* know how Timothée Chalamet ended up playing basketball with Adam Sandler on a random Friday in New York City and I wasn’t invited.
Can I play basketball? No. Do I want to discuss Uncut Gems in detail while looking at a bunch of tourists standing in line for some Dominique Ansel popup like it’s 2012? Absolutely.
I know that it clearly was a last-minute text, because Chalamet was photographed with a Foot Locker bag that he took to the basketball court to meet Sandler.
Yet Another Embarrassing Instagram Apology
Following in the embarrassing footsteps of that former Good Morning America anchor, soccer star Neymar posted a bizarre tribute/apology/off-brand Urban Outfitters poem to his pregnant girlfriend, Bruna Biancardi, after he claims he “made a mistake.” Ooop!
Damian Lillard Wants To Sell His Subaru
It happened: Portland Trail Blazers star, Damian Lillard, has *officially* requested a trade. After years of Will He/Won’t He, Lillard has decided to sell that 2012 Subaru, as he has his sights set on warmer pastures.
While a deal isn’t close to being final, there are rumors (backed by the Always Online Woj) that Lillard wants to play for the Miami Heat.
Listen: Who doesn’t want to play in a city where you can eat Carbone’s spicy rigatoni in 95-degree heat with 100 percent humidity?
While that deal may never happen, we can only hope that we’ll get a Deuxmoi Sunday Spotted featuring a blurry photo of Lillard with a caption that reads, “Some basketball player is at Carbone. I think a guy named Damian? Can anyone ID him? Anon pls.”
Messi Went To Publix
Speaking of Miami-Dade county, Lionel Messi went to America’s best grocery store: Publix.
Shopping really is a pleasure when the best soccer player of all time rolls up to Publix with his wife and kids in slides to buy American cereal that you know his kids *begged* him to purchase.
Messi made his debut last night for Inter Miami in the most Messi way possible: Scoring a goal in the 94th minute. The look on Serena Williams’ face says it all.
The Women’s World Cup Is My Entire Personality
The Women’s World Cup is officially underway. New Zealand upset Norway in their first-ever World Cup win. Australia beat Ireland, but I’m still thinking about this Irish fan who booked a last-minute flight. Sadly, the luck of the Irish flight deals was not on her side.
Of course, I am ending on a patriotic note (lmao): The US Women’s National Team beat Vietnam 3-0 in their World Cup debut. With one win down, I am eagerly anticipating more TikTok content—especially from Trinity Rodman (Yes, Dennis’ daughter)—in the coming days…
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If the Bravo and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends. It means the world!
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My current favorite sports gossip is that Connecticut Sun star, DeWanna Bonner, ex wife (?), ex teammate, and mother of Candice Dupree’s children is now engaged to current teammate Alyssa Thomas. There was previously another married couple on the team, Natisha Hiedeman and Jasmine Thomas, until Thomas was traded to LA. I love women’s sports gossip!!! I wish more people were engaged with it so I could make fun of Sophie Cunningham for being awful and not because ya know sexism.
Soooo who is aggregating the USWNT World Cup Content™️
Can we give the gal’s a Reddit? A Thread? idk how the internet works now but I think this could bring us back together. Oh yeah asking for a friend