10 Sports Gossip Predictions For 2023
10 Sports Gossip Predictions For 2023
No one asked for this.
If the Bravo Cinematic Universe and ESPN had a baby, it would be Impersonal Foul. You in? Subscribe and tell your friends.
New year, new pointless sports gossip.
2022 was filled with so much sports nonsense. Silly beefs. Kyrie Irving being…Kyrie Irving. James Harden maybe wanting to go back to Houston. Tom Brady and Gisele’s divorce (and their entanglement with that FTX man who is into that giving away money thing idk don’t try to explain it to me I don’t need a TED Talk about it).
I already know we’ll be seeing these faces in the Pointless Sports Gossip News Cycle in 2023 and I have a few additional predictions of my own…
Enjoy this nonsense and I guess go stare at your vision board/Whole30 cookbook/whatever we’re doing these days to stay sane.
Happy New Year!
Tom Brady Will Date Kim Kardashian
I didn’t come up with this prediction, I just second it. GirlBossTown on TikTok was the one who came up with the prediction back in October. Two rich and famous people dating isn’t that shocking, but I feel like Brady and Kardashian both need a bit of a PR revamp in 2023. Not only will this put their names back in the DeuxMoi news cycle they pretend they don’t want to be a a part of, but it sets both of them up for a BACKGRID pap session that only Nicole Kidman can top!
Gisele: Stay away from Pete!
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Rihanna Won’t Use Her Superbowl Halftime Show To Announce An Album Drop
I’m sorry, I know we have suffered enough, but I think we’re going to continue to suffer. Yes, we will get an incredible halftime performance from Rihanna, but there is no way we’re getting an album. I don’t believe it! A single or two maybe…But a whole album just feels too good to be true. Trust me: I hope I am wrong on this prediction and I know Mr. DiCaprio hopes so, too.
Kyrie Irving Will Endorse Donald Trump
I just feel like this is the headline we’re all racing towards at this point. Do I want this to be true? Absolutely not. Do I also want the NBA to appropriately punish Ivring for all of the anti-semitic comments he’s said? Yes. But we cannot have nice things apparently!
Lionel Messi Will Be On The Cover of American Vogue
Given the retirement of Anna Wintour’s favorite athletes, Serena Williams and Roger Federer, it’s time for Wintour to pick another sport to follow: Soccer! Messi has never been on the cover of American Vogue and I just feel like after that incredible World Cup finish, it’s only appropriate for him to get a poorly-lit Annie Leibovitz cover shot on a beige background. I said what I said!!!
Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade Will Have a Six-Part Documentary Series On Netflix About Something
Maybe a competition series? Well, Wade already has one…but honestly I feel like we need a Union and Wade collab show! If it’s not a competition series, it’ll be a six-part documentary about their life. Some of it will be shot in Miami. We’ll get some B-roll of Union working with her team to film TikToks. Oh, and in the finale they will announce a new media company or something.
10 out of 10 I will watch whatever they tell me to watch!
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Cristiano Ronaldo Will Sit Down With Piers Morgan Again
Given the news that Cristiano Ronaldo has signed a $75 million per year deal with a Saudi Arabian club, it just feels right that Morgan will get another chaotic exclusive interview. And if we do get it, you know I’m gonna have to watch it. Ugh.
We’ll Get Another Corporate #Girlboss #Empowerment #MakingHerstory Women’s Sports Documentary
I am the number one supporter of female sports and think that all female athletes should be paid the same as their male counterparts. What I don’t need what is another 90-minute “documentary” that is really just an ad for some corporation whose latest “mission” is to “support women in sports and empower them to level the playing field” or some nonsense like that. Natalie Portman will definitely be involved. I love her, but like what is she doing there??? Okay? Moving on.
Aaron Judge Will Make A Cameo In ‘And Just Like That…’
Yankees star, Aaron Judge, just signed a $360 million dollar contract extension. While he doesn’t need any more money he does need to make a cameo in season two of the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That…, so we can all recover from those questionable scenes in season one. It only makes sense to bring these three ladies (please come back Samantha we need you) back to Yankee Stadium for round two of hitting on baseball players.
Bronny James Will Start A Clothing Line
LeBron James son and basketball protégé, Bronny James, will add fashion designer to his already stacked resume. I don’t think it’ll be with Nike, but rather some Gen Z streetwear brand (don’t make me name them I’m too old I’m sorry). Possibly a line of sweatshirts? A campaign with Aimé Leon Dore? Idk that’s the only cool brand I know. You know Rich Paul is already working on this.
Adele and Rich Paul Will Get Married
Speaking of Rich Paul, it only feels right for Adele and Rich Paul to tie the knot! The guest list alone would be the most random and perfect mix of famous athletes, musicians, and actors. My money is that the wedding happens somewhere in Italy…
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